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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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• (408): View more from California

  i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still

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• (352): View more from Florida

  quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.

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• (315): View more from New York

  They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub

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