do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
