I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
