it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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