So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
