i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
