hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
this will be a night to untag.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
