and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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