I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
