I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
