Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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