i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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