so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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