No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
