if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
