FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
