yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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