Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
