The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
