Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry penguinzruledood hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(707): View more from California

I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.

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(512): View more from Texas

You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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(916): View more from California

I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night

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(503): View more from Oregon

His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

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(813): View more from Florida

There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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(917): View more from New York City

My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?

(404): View more from Georgia

I think it's called love, bro

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