Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
