The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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