I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
