so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
