Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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