Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
