he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
