so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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