You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
