And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
