i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
