Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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