brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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