we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
