Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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