dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
