i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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