He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
