that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
