I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
