so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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