I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
