The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When are your genitals available?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
