Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize