is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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