Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
