It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
