i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The beer is more important than you right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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