So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
porn star boner night. come get it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
