Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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