You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
